Reviewing the Beatles solo albums in order - part 1

Forced myself to listen to Two Virgins: Side One. What self-indulgent dreck, completely unworthy of a Beatle! Side two was just as bad.

Life with the Lions is possibly even worse. I couldn't last 10 minutes.

I lasted nearly 20 minutes through Harrison's Electronic Sound. The only interesting thing about that album is that some of the effects sound exactly like Atari 2600 games (particularly Combat), from eight years later.

Endured 2 minutes of The Wedding Album. Yikes!

Live Peace in Toronto 1969 was a relief to hear real music again, though I had to try to ignore Yoko's insane caterwauling in the background. How John failed to think she was mocking his singing his beyond me. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-TI-8J27YE... - My favorite treat from Ringo's Sentimental Journey album, which I had never listened to before. Ringo seems to be channeling Nat King Cole here, even though this wasn't a Nat King Cole song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_2mDp0EEek... - No surprises on McCartney, the earliest solo album I've ever owned. Though far from perfect, there are seven tracks on this album I either like or like a lot, with the best, not surprisingly, being this number...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vV8xAZnJY6I... - First time listening through Beaucoups of Blues. This was a real challenge, since I am not generally a fan of country music. Would Ringo's love of country rub off on me? Eh...maybe not too much, but it's certainly not a bad album either, with some pleasant tracks. "Without Her" falls flat with Ringo singing, but this would have been a magnificent vehicle for Roy Orbison. My favorite track isn't on the album, but the B side to the single Beaucoups of Blues -- or at least the first two minutes of "Coochy Coochy." It's a really fun song and more upbeat than anything on the album, but after two minutes it just sort of rambles on into a jam session I didn't need to hear.

After Ringo used his cachet as a Beatle to pursue two dream (for him) albums, John squandered his reputation on the notions of his psycho drug-dealer bride, and Paul phoned in his first album, George produced All Things Must Pass. John, Paul, and Ringo got passes on their early albums because they were Beatles, but even if no one had ever heard of George Harrison before, he should have become a music star based on the strengths of the spiritual "My Sweet Lord," the sweeping epic of "Isn't It a Pity" (thanks to Phil Spector), the wisdom of "What Is Life" (which I love even more paired with the music video), the power of "Let It Down," and the beautiful "All Things Must Pass," which exists in its most sublime form in this proto-version, before Spector butchered this one with too much overdubbing - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ODEhwaU2Uw. It is not a perfect album; someone should have told George that the entire 3rd record was not worthy or just not ready for release.

The John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band, thankfully, involves Yoko in name only. It's still not a very good album, but at least John is starting to make an effort again, with Beatles-worthy tracks like "Hold On," "Love," and "Look at Me." Of the three I'm most partial to "Hold On" for the completely random shout-out to Cookie Monster in the middle of it. Pure John. 

Today I did karaoke with the entire RAM album, looking for fresh insights. I did learn that, in "Heart of the Country," he's singing "where the holy people grow" instead of "where the lonely people go." I like my version better.

 

It's such an amazing album. How many artists besides Paul can cobble a song out of a medley as diverse as "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" and make it that epic? The surprisingly touching "Too Many People," the rocking silliness of "Smile Away," the gentle "Heart of the Country," and the Seussian "Monkberry Moon Delight" would make a great album for anyone else, or just business as usual for Paul McCartney, but then "Uncle Albert" starts and business as usual starts to break down. Powerful songs are puncturing through this album, shaking things up and even separating "Ram On" into two parts, as if normal time cannot contain the album any longer. If it had ended with the epic "Long Haired Lady" that would have been a great ending -- but even then it's not over, because "Long Haired Lady" is followed up by a second, even grander epic, the finale of "The Back Seat of My Car," where every young couple's naivety ever is summed up in Paul screaming their mantra "We believe that we can't be wrong!"

John's Imagine album must have been such a relief to his fans. Phew! He really does still got it. There's plenty of familiar songs on here -- everyone knows "Imagine," but "Jealous Guy" and "Oh My Love" get a lot of replay on the radio. Songs I really enjoyed that I don't remember hearing before were "It's So Hard" and "I Don't Wanna Be a Soldier Mama."

With Christmas over, it's time to go back to listening to solo Beatles albums in order! Which, unfortunately...takes me to...Wild Life. It's hard to believe Paul followed up the majesty of Ram with this....It's like he was searching for a new sound, couldn't find it, and just gave up and said, "Oh well, I'll just cut an album out of all these takes anyway." I will confess to finding some guilty pleasure in the frothy "Bip Bop" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh4b_p55e2U..., and "Tomorrow" seems like it's just one more rewrite away from being a good song. But the rest of this album...ugh. Even the one cover song, "Love Is Strange," which should have been a no-brainer tribute to the Everly Brothers, is here transformed into something unpleasant…

The Concert of Bangladesh is a tougher album to judge. As a concert recording, it's not going to have the technical merit of a studio album, and it's only real measures of success are: a) is it a good choice of songs? And b) does it get across how much fun it must have been to be at the concert? I'd have to say it succeeds at both.

I don't mind Indian music. True, I have walked into the occasional gas station or fast food parlor run by Indians enjoying their own cultural music and wondered "Did someone record someone dying?", but in the hands of true masters like the artists George Harrison surrounded himself with, they make a sound quite pleasing even to a strictly West-oriented musical palette.

George Harrison and pals produce some lovely favorites to entertain the patient audience. I don't know who Leon Russell is, but the highlight is a grand medley he seems to have assembled for mid-program.

Back-to-Basics Original Dungeons & Dragons Greyhawk Campaign - Interludes 1 & 2

Interlude 1

In the Barrier Peaks stands the castle of Mordenkainen. Many protective guards and wards protect its walls from those who could even reach it to begin with, as remote as the castle is. But unlike, well, any living thing, we can soar through an upper window on the thirteenth floor, through a study, down a hall, through a larger hall, around another corner, and into one of the private rooms of Mordenkainen himself. He is sitting in a chair while an elf servant trims his beard.

Suddenly, Mordenkainen lurches forward, stumbling out of his chair. He reaches out for something solid to help steady himself. He turns, looks around, and says to the elf maid, "Did you feel that?" in her own tongue.

She did not. Concern knits Mordenkainen's brow. For a full minute he looks at the floor, deep in thought. Finally he decides on a course of action; he walks to the nearest side wall and gives a very special rap of his knuckles upon it, causing a door to appear there. He opens it, and steps through. We follow.

Mordenkainen has stepped into his divination room. He uncovers a crystal ball, touches it, and speaks a command. "Show me Tenser. Allow me to speak with him."

The image of another of Oerth's most famous mage's appears in the ball. He's eating a sandwich.

"Tenser," Mordenkainen says, "I have felt a great disturbance. Something feels amiss to me. Do you not feel it?"

"Is that why my sandwich tastes off?" Tenser asks. "What goes on?"

"That I do not know, though...I have a strange premonition that gives me some inkling...I will get back to you."

Mordenkainen touches the crystal ball again and the image blurs and disappears. He thinks twice before saying what he says next. "Show me the Mad Prophet. Allow me to hear him."

The image of a dimly-lit cell, illuminated by the flickering light of some distant torch, appears in the ball. In the gloom, covered in matted hair almost as thick as fur, is a man. The man cackles with a hoarse, dry voice.

"Who is watching me? Basiliv? Rary? Mordenkainen? It does not matter...you will all come to me in time...and, in time ...will come to see what time will mean in time."

Interlude 2

Ready’reat 1, 620 CY

The ogre lumbered away, but only three more paces across the courtyard before falling forward, its head lolled to the side, and three of Eirenden’s arrows sticking out of its back.

“Don’t let them fall back to their tower!” Eirenden called out. He had another arrow already notched and was sighting his next target of the fleeing ogres.

But Rulf, further back, had just had a gravelly voice whispering in his ear. “Stop!” Rulf shouted. “Everyone, fall back to me! Zig’s orders!”

“Zig isn’t here,” Vincent said, holding his bloodied wound, but still with enough strength left to him to sound defiant.

“He will be,” Rulf argued. “Everyone, form a defensive circle around this spot!”

Rulf backed away into the circle of Eneever Zig’s henchmen forming up as instructed. Even Vincent. He had no love for Rulf, but he was wise to fear disobeying Zig.

Motes of magical energy began to dance in the spot near where Rulf stood. They spun briefly in a vertical oval shape before disappearing in a brief flash of light -- and then Eneever Zig stood in that spot. He wore a black conical hat and black robes that his white beard hung over, and he clutched a wizard’s staff. He could not have looked more the stereotype of a wizard had he consciously tried.

“Well? You found it?” were the first words out of Zig’s mouth.

Rulf seemed to know to what he referred. “Yes. We located the Bottle City. Did you wish to see it right away? We were just dispatching the rest of the ogres in this place.”

“Leave them,” Zig said. “They do not concern me. I would be taken to the Bottle City at once, but I have a new task for after you lead me there. Take the men and secure the main tower of the castle, so I may make use of it upon my return.”

“The main tower is held by a group of elves…” Rulf said.

“I know. You may try convincing them to leave if you wish, but if they resist, kill them. Kill them all.”