Comic Books in Real Time

I was looking at the new releases of DC and Marvel earlier today and was struck again by the sheer amount of revisionism that supposedly keep their "big money" heroes new and fresh, but really keeps them from ever growing and changing as characters. The following is paraphrased from recent press releases, but adjusted to reflect the passage of real time for these superheroes, as they experience in my fanfiction.

Justice League – Green Lantern (John Stewart), Flash (Jesse Quick), Hawkman (2nd Carter Hall), Batwoman (Helena Wayne), Hawkgirl (2nd Shiera Hall), Superman (Superboy clone), Supergirl (other-universe matrix), Challenger of the Unknown (June Robbins), Aquaman (Arthur Jr.), Firestorm (Ronnie Raymond), Wonder Woman (Cassandra Sandhurst) are working their way through a schedule of Earth invasions to stop. Today is Mantis of Apokalips’ turn to try again!

Batman - Bruce Wayne Jr. (age 42), Robin (Jason Todd, age 36), Batwoman (Helena Wayne, age 44), and Huntress (Helena Bertenelli, age 35, Jason’s wife) deal with the Court of Owls as they try to take over New York City. Bruce married Julia Pennyworth and they have a 7-year old son.

Batgirl – Cassandra Cain (age 23) goes on the hunt for the terrifying killer Gretel, whose eerie and violent power over the men of Gotham City leaves no one safe – not even guest star Bruce Wayne, Jr!

Birds of Prey – Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), Huntress (Helena Bertenelli), and Lady Blackhawk (Natalie Reed, age 65, was first a Jr. Blackhawk in ‘66) realize that Gotham City is still in grave danger. And the key to unmasking the villain known as "Choke" may lie in the mystery of a man who one day just walked out on his family and life…and into a world of mind-control and murder.

Blue Beetle – Jaime Reyes is now 21 and has had the Blue Beetle armor for six years. As an experienced superhero, the sorceress La Dama has her hands trying to win the armor from him.

Wonder Woman – Cassie, age 24, has returned home to London…but leaving Paradise Island doesn't mean leaving the gods behind. With Jupiter dead, Mars and Neptune come to Earth – and neither of them is leaving without being crowned King of the gods!

Ray – Ray Terrill, age 26, has been The Ray for 10 years now, but between giant monsters attacking his new home town of San Diego and meeting his new girlfriend's strict parents, things are not going so well. Luckily, it won’t take a veteran superhero long to track down the master villain behind the monster attacks.

Alpha Flight – Vindicator, Talisman, Box, Madison Jeffries, Diamond Lil, Wild Child, Persuasion, Manikin, Goblyn, and Manbot find out that the Dreamqueen is the sinister figure behind the Unity Party threatening Canadian politics.

Avengers: Solo – The Black Widow, Yelena Barton, comes out of retirement to investigate a murder being pinned on the Avengers by Hydra.

Captain America and Bucky – Jack Monroe, the current Cap (age 59, but effectively 30), and his partner Bucky (his 22-year old adopted daughter) face off against an android made to look like the Golden Age Bucky – and it wants to kill them both!

Avenging Spider-Man – The son of Peter and Mary Jane, age 33, thwarts a moloid invasion of Manhattan, along with his older sister Spider-Woman (the daughter of Peter and Gwen).

Daredevil – The current Daredevil, Eugene Patilio (formerly Frog-Man, now age 35) and Spider-Man meet the new Black Cat (age 26), claiming to be the daughter of the original.

Defenders –Iron Fist, Nova, Quasar, Captain Ultra, Jack of Hearts, Torpedo, and White Tiger continue to explore the secrets of Wundagore Mountain.