[Christmas vacation has kept me, ironically, too busy to share anything for 10 days. Here's a bit of creative nonsense I wrote back in 2005]
While on the road for a long time this last weekend, I composed the following in my head:
Let me tell you of the story of a man named Jed
A grizzly bear ate him and now he's dead
But he rose from his grave as a zombie you see
And then he ate the brains of his whole family.
So along by now the whole family's undead
They sleep in coffins instead of a bed
They don't need a toilet 'cuz' they don't have to pee
So they moved to a crypt in the town of Beverly.
(Hills, that is.)
(Episode in progress)
Media mogul: I have to admit, I thought I could pull the wool over your eyes with my Hollywood savvy and double talk, but I see now that your folksy charm and honest ways are a better life than my million dollar mansion and jet-setting life.
Media mogul: (chuckles) Yes, you sure have a lot of brains not to have signed that contract to give my network exclusive rights to your life story for just $10,000. But now that we understand each other, let's start over and see if we can renegotiate --"
Jed: Eat brain now!
Media mogul: AAAAUUUGGGGHHHH!
(Episode ends to faster instrumental reprise of theme song.)