Dirk Gentle's Holistic Detective Agency Review (through Episode 4)

Halfway through Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (I'm an episode behind) and ready to share what I think I know so far. POTENTIAL SPOILERS (if I'm right):

In the 1960s, a rich inventor is working on a time machine. He needs a power source, so he builds the power grid under the neighborhood where Todd lives. But he's old and afraid he's going to die before he finishes, so he invents a mind transferal machine; that way, he can put his consciousness in a younger body and continue. In the new body, he falls in love (with who? The mother hasn't been revealed yet. Is this the only thing that doesn't tie in?) and fathers a daughter. He knows his daughter is in danger because people are after his machines, so he hires the bodyguard, Farah. He also hires Dirk Gently to investigate his own death before it happens.

In the end, before he dies, he finished the time machine. He used it to find out how he dies and that his daughter has been kidnapped. He needs to make sure Dirk knows how to find her and save her, but he can't just leave him a note because then the ones who want the machine will find it. So he lays out a bunch of clues that lead to the "death maze" (perfect for H&H!) and the map to where they'll find his daughter at the right time to save her.

I was way off on the First Souls. I thought they would be the first sentient beings who had the ability to transfer into other bodies naturally. That they hired the inventor to build the time machine for them because they wanted to go back to their original bodies. But now I'm disappointed; it seems the First Souls were just a group of thieves who found and stole the mind transferal machine back in the '60s. Now they have a much more nebulous reason to want the time machine. They may not even know what the time machine does, but just want it because the inventor made it and figure it's something useful.

Who summoned the shark that killed the father? I suspect it was the father himself. He knew when the First Souls were coming for him, knew the shark would kill them, and in the chaos his daughter would be able to escape. Why they brought his daughter's consciousness to him in the body of a corgi, I'm not sure. Perhaps it was an extra precaution -- trade the corgi first, then machine, then the daughter's body last?

How do Todd and his sister Amanda figure into this? Their "disease" (gift?) makes (or made, in Todd's case) them sensitive to cosmic phenomena. It makes them able to be in the right place at the right time. I suspect Dirk Gently has the disease/gift too, no one has said so yet, but the CIA mistook his disease for ESP.

Why is Dirk Gently so different from the novels? He seems much less sure of himself than he should be, and increasingly reliant on Todd to do things for him. I think that's what the Rowdy 3 are draining from Dirk every time they encounter him, his disease. I'm not sure if there's an agenda there; I suspect they are something like incubi or vampires who drain the disease from him. They haven't tried it from Todd because his disease is in remission and Amanda's medication blocks them from fully perceiving she has the gift.

The real loose end is, who sent the assassin Bart? I suspect it's the CIA. They may know some of what's going on thanks to their ESP branch and want the machines for themselves. They have a two-pronged approach for stopping Dirk -- one is Bart, sent to kill him, and two is Col. Riggins, who Dirk sees as a father figure. They would prefer Riggins to be able to bring Dirk in as their plan A, which is why they put the assassin on Dirk's trail from so far away (it is taking her forever to drive to where he is!).

My First Ever C2E2 Report!

It didn't start out great. Coming from Parking Lot B, on the south side of McCormick Place, there was no signage saying where to go for will call or registration. Even when we got to the exhibit hall, there was no signage. We spent 40 minutes looking for the room where the ticket booths were tucked away out of sight and then, because we had split up to look for them, spent another 20 minutes finding each other. I found it so upsetting, I couldn't even enjoy all the cosplay I was seeing. We also made the mistake of not bringing anything to drink, so we bought a $4 water bottle at the Starbucks. Then we found the free water upstairs by the panel rooms later. Oops.

But after that, things improved immensely. The exhibit hall was packed with a full day's worth of interesting viewing. The artist's alley was packed with a full day's worth of interesting viewing. We had to cut some corners to combine the two. I, of course, pursued spending money at a convention in my normal, thrifty fashion -- haunting the dollar bins (where I did pick up some amazing bargains). This was Megan's first comic book convention ever and, it turns out, she is a fairly expensive date at a comic book convention. She was finding t-shirts and posters and games everywhere that she wanted.

We geeked out over lots of celebrities. The autograph booths were 200' away, so we could not get good photos of Sean Astin and Sylvester McCoy -- but Megan managed *okay* photos of them. Conversely, while I was waiting for Megan at will call, Scott Adsit walked right by me. I thought "That guy looks just like the guy from 30 Rock" -- but I didn't know he was scheduled to be at the con today until I got home tonight.

We attended the "Unmasking the Hero" panel and got to see Jewel Staite, who was funny and charming, and David Ramsey, who was a lot more funny and charismatic than he ever seemed to be on Arrow. And what a lot of Arrow fans in the audience! I was surprised. Favorite moments were Jewel faking a smarmy attitude and saying, "Oh, you guys don't have action figures?" and the generous response of the moderator who invited a couple on stage after a man popped the question to his girlfriend in the audience.

I wasn't planning on staying in that room for the special sneak preview of M. Night Shyamalan's first TV show, Wayward Pines, since I wasn't interested in seeing it. And neither was Megan, but when she learned yesterday that Matt Dillon would be there she told me we were going. She moved us right up front so she could be about 25' away from him. Oh, and M. Night was there too. Now, Wayward Pines itself was making me want to hurl -- but not why you'd think. Sitting so close to the big screen was disorienting and made both of us nauseous, though me more so.

Creator Connection was a networking event for people who need collaborators on their comic book projects, which would include me! I was disappointed, though, in how disingenuous some of the people there were. Like, one artist wasn't there looking for work at all; he was there to give sales pitches for his own already-published graphic novel. I wasn't meeting anyone with an old school vibe, and Megan told me that the exhibit hall closed at 7 and she wanted to get back there first, so we left that early.

I wish we had reserved more than 45 minutes for Artist's Alley at the end of the day. I was looking for Angel Medina at 6:30 for an arm wrestling match, but he was away from his table then. I saw Ali Cantarella, who I had met at the Schaumburg Township District Library's comic book convention. I didn't have a lot of cash left on me to spend, but she always comes up with such imaginative ways to part me from my dollars. Last time it was art magnets, this time it was the "$1 Mystery Box". I was really impressed with Sean Archer's Milo the Cloud and bought a copy. Scott Larsen traded me an issue of Femforce he was in for the information that Big Bang Comics is going to come out with their first issue published by AC Comics soon. And the lucky dog is making a comic book with Len Strazewski!

Also impressive were Spinner Rack Comics and Mindwave Comics, both of which promised good old-fashioned fun superheroes, like the big companies used to know how to do. Adam Fotos impressed me. Jenny Parks Illustration blew us both away with her cat-pop culture character mash-ups. Hugely ambitious, and way beyond what I could afford, was a $120 tribute book about Little Nemo in Slumberland released by Locust Moon Comics, in the same size as the original newspaper strip. The nice man at that booth said they were going to re-re-release it in softcover sections that would look more like old newspaper comic sections -- I'm there when that comes out. The last of my cash went to Aw Yeah Comics' table, where I picked up a Tiny Titans I was missing -- the only comic book on my 46-issue shopping list I managed to find while I was there!

We had both lunch and dinner at the McDonalds in the convention center, which only gave us the novelty of paying $11-15 for meals that would normally cost us $5-8. I had hoped to dine in the Connie's Pizza there for dinner, but they were closed by 7.

The last thing we did was go to a panel about Comixology. I asked some questions about what I could submit if I *did* have a finished comic book for sale and got a free t-shirt for my troubles. Pretty sweet! Also, Art Baltazar was there talking about his experience using Comixology. The whole time he was staring at the audience, but doodling with his hands. At the end, he had all these sketches of Adventure Bug on Aw Yeah Comics stationery to give away -- and they looked great!

My Dr. Who Theories

I interrupt my recent "spate" of DC Comics-related posts to deal with Doctor Who, which is almost up to its last episode of the season (or series, as they call it in England). So, before the big finale answers any of my nagging suspicions, here are my own theories as to what might be going on. Bear in mind that only some of these can even be true, as they are not all compatible theories.

SPOILERS!

1. River Song could become the new Doctor. River Song is, apparently, a popular companion as well as beloved creation of the executive producer from back when he was only writing scripts in the Tennant years. The big reveal at mid-season was that River Song is a Time Lord. We've also had repeated reminders this season that River is a doctor in archaeology. So could she become The Doctor? We've been thinking ever since episode 1 this season that there has to be some way around the Doctor's demise, but if there isn't, than this is the way the series would continue. The hang-up here is that Matt Smith is also very popular, if not the most popular Doctor yet, so it would seem foolish to replace him...

2. The Silence (Silents?) are actually on the Doctor's side. Yes, we've been told these were the new villains, they look like villains, but what have they really done to menace our heroes other than a lot of posturing? They even tipped off the Doctor to their plans by alerting Amy. What did that accomplish, but to allow the Doctor to free baby Melody from them? And can it be only coincidence that Melody goes on to become River and almost kill the Doctor in 1943 only after escaping from the Silents? It seems they weren't incubating her in that spacesuit so much as holding her prisoner so she couldn't carry out her destiny.

I particularly like this theory because, not only is it such a big twist, but it kind of explains how the Doctor has always been able to use coincidence and luck to defeat his enemies over the years -- he's had a secret society of the Silents aiding him all this time that he can't remember having encountered after they help him. The downside of this theory, of course, is that it robs the Doctor of some of his glory by suggesting he's always had more companions than we knew.

3. The Doctor has been behind this all along. Remember River warning the Doctor that, if he didn't change his ways, that the universe would fear him as its greatest warrior? Well, what if the Doctor agrees and has been secretly arranging events so that he can fake his own death? With everyone thinking he's irrevocably dead, he can go back to helping people anonymously through time and space. Of course, the hang-up of this theory is that it still doesn't explain how he possibly faked being shot and then incinerated. And yet...

4. River was lying at the scene of the Doctor's death. River told Amy and Rory that the Doctor died because he was shot while regenerating. But "later", in 1943, River is shot multiple times after a mortal wound and still regenerates. So, is it the nature of the weapon, rather than the timing of the shots, that matters, or was she just lying about how you can kill a Time Lord...?

Cartoon Favorites from the Saturday Morning Cartoons of the 1970s

This was inspired by something I saw on Facebook recently, where you're supposed to give your five favorite cartoon shows from when you were growing up. Well, I thought, "There's no way I can limit it to five!" and wrote this up instead. Indeed, I had to limit this to just Saturday morning cartoons, which eliminated Speed Racer. Thanks to the miracle of re-runs, though, I was able to include some classics from the '60s that I still grew up with.

1964–1966 - http://www.tvparty.com/sat66.html
Underdog
This show, especially in its premiere episode, is actually pretty insulting to the superhero genre. Superheroes are shown to be bumblingly destructive, inexplicably adored by the public, and challenged by puzzles that a kid viewer can solve long before Underdog can. And yet, the show was done with such charm and the lampooning so subtle, that I still like this show.
1967 – http://www.tvparty.com/sat67.html
Herculoids
Some kids like Space Ghost best. Me? I liked the Herculoids. Oh no, not for the human cast. You could dump them in a heartbeat and I wouldn’t bat an eye. No, it was Igoo, Gloop, and Gleep that you watched the Herculoids for. Oh yeah.
Spider-Man
What do you get when you give Ralph Bakshi a stack of comic books, trip him out on acid, and give him a limited budget? Only one unbeatable superhero cartoon with its own unique character unrivalled until Batman the Animated Series.
1968 - http://www.tvparty.com/sat68.html
Banana Splits
There were cartoon shorts, but even as I kid I knew those were lame. But guys dressed up in goofy mascot costumes doing short visual gags? I couldn’t get enough of it.
1969 – http://www.tvparty.com/sat69.html
Scooby Doo, Where Are You?
The original three seasons have never been surpassed by later incarnations. This show may have more camp humor appeal today, but this defined what was “edgy” and “darkly atmospheric” for cartoons circa 1970.
1973 – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiplication_Rock#Multiplication_Rock
Multiplication Rock/Schoolhouse Rock
Has any kid since the 1970s made it through school without the benefit of these amazing cartoon shorts? Shouldn’t all classes be taught via jingles by now?
1977 - http://www.tvparty.com/sat77.html
Scooby’s All-Star Laff-A-Lympics
Bizarrely anticipating the entire reality TV show craze, this series had almost the entirety of Hanna-Barbera’s stable of characters competing in teams against each other. And was more interesting than all the live action reality TV shows (and cartoons based on the reality TV genre) to come.
1978 - http://www.tvparty.com/sat78.html
Challenge of the Superfriends
The Superfriends had been on TV for awhile by this point, but this is where it got bad guys. The Legion of Doom was more evil than had ever been seen on children’s programming before.
Fantastic Four
Storyboarded by Lee and Kirby themselves, this series was, in its own way, as faithful an adaptation of the comic book series as the earlier Hanna-Barbera version. To the Human Torch’s eternal embarrassment, he was replaced by Herbie the Robot and I never even missed him.
Godzilla Power Hour
My introduction to the Japanese monster genre. I was hugely into dinosaurs at the time and couldn’t get enough of episodes that had actual dinosaurs in them (though I was never, ever able to watch Land of the Lost and its cheesy special effects).
Baggy Pants and the Nitwits. A long forgotten cartoon and probably for good reason, though it introduced me to what I had missed on the adult program, Laugh-In (the first of many shows to steal from Laugh-In, most notably Nickelodeon’s pre-Spongebob main show, You Can’t Do that on Television). Indirectly, the Baggy Pants character introduced me to Charlie Chaplin.

Re: Batman the Animated Series

[This is partial transcript of -- I believe most of -- a letter I wrote to the Fox TV Network around 1993. There was a rumor circulating at that time that Fox was going to take the critically- and fan-acclaimed Batman the Animated Series show off the air. It is the only time I ever wrote to a TV channel about a TV show.]

I am writing in regards to this network's horrific decision to cancel BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES. I would have written much sooner if I had not such trouble acquiring your address. You have made a terrible error in judgement by casting aside BATMAN -- and for what? So you can air more ratings-grabbing swill like POWER RANGERS? There is more at stake here than short-term rating boosts, and I will endeavor to explain why.

The first reason is art. While many shows are entertaining, or even educational, few shows can boast of being both, plus art. FOX has few such programs, and fewer than other networks.

The second and most vital reason is because of the fans. Shows with large fan followings, such as this, you should hold onto at all costs. I am sure you have received a flood of complaint letters already, and you have only begun to hear from all the Batman fans out there.

The Beverly Zombies

[Christmas vacation has kept me, ironically, too busy to share anything for 10 days. Here's a bit of creative nonsense I wrote back in 2005]

While on the road for a long time this last weekend, I composed the following in my head:

Let me tell you of the story of a man named Jed
A grizzly bear ate him and now he's dead
But he rose from his grave as a zombie you see
And then he ate the brains of his whole family.

(Hillybilly brains.)
(Small potatoes.)

So along by now the whole family's undead
They sleep in coffins instead of a bed
They don't need a toilet 'cuz' they don't have to pee
So they moved to a crypt in the town of Beverly.

(Hills, that is.)

(Episode in progress)
Media mogul: I have to admit, I thought I could pull the wool over your eyes with my Hollywood savvy and double talk, but I see now that your folksy charm and honest ways are a better life than my million dollar mansion and jet-setting life.
Jed: Hmm...brains...
Media mogul: (chuckles) Yes, you sure have a lot of brains not to have signed that contract to give my network exclusive rights to your life story for just $10,000. But now that we understand each other, let's start over and see if we can renegotiate --"
Jed: Eat brain now!
Media mogul: AAAAUUUGGGGHHHH!

(Episode ends to faster instrumental reprise of theme song.)

Heroes (the tv show) Mini-Rant

I did not start watching the Heroes TV show when it first came out, but I tried it during the mini-marathon NBC ran at the beginning of the year [2007] and was hooked. Here were some of the very elements I had tried to bring to Superland [one of my old rpgs], including meshing the superhero genre with the “real” world while retaining a sense of fun.

After last Monday’s episode [as of Feb. 23], I’m wondering if the show is drifting away from what I liked best about it. Hiro (the best character in the show) is beginning to come off as less fun and more naive. Worse, the focus on Syler’s serial killings is seriously threatening to derail my enjoyment of the show. Justice is a key concept to the superhero genre. If villains don’t get their comeuppance in some manner, then the story focus becomes one of victimization rather than heroism. People are getting killed. If this is the superhero genre, then why is no one saving or avenging them?